Dernier vol ...

C'est l'histoire d'un gars qui voulait en finir mais se donna une dernière chance.

C'est l'histoire d'une mission suicide qui se transforma en reconstruction.

C'est l'histoire d'une chute qui devint rebond

C'est l'histoire d'un sursaut d'orgueil face a la mort intérieure

C'est une histoire toute simple, l'histoire d'une mise en orbite d'un gamin qui rêvait de voler

Ibrahim F.

Live at Koko by Bonobo

This is my last post on this blog. Almost two years after my arrival in Darfur and the creation of this blog, I feel it's time to stop posting here. When I started, my aim was to give some news to my friends and family. Later, it became a good way to motivate myself to share pictures. But today, I want to be able to show my pictures without being anonymous and anyway have serious doubt about the interest of my posts. From a description of my situation and a few thoughts about my surroundings, I finally ended up speaking only about myself, my vacation, my money and girls (or their absence).

But while some might consider my living condition as not particularly attractive and others envy my freedom or travel opportunities, the truth is that despite 224 posts, I have never really explained what was my real life, the genuine me and I am not sure I really tried.. I played with words and reality, provoked sometimes and just enjoyed writing with my mind in orbit.

When I left for Darfur two years ago, I had never imagined that I would be traveling so much, have the job and responsibilities I have and certainly not that I would stay here so long. I projected a change and I got a revolution. Some hard battles have been won and new ones will certainly come but sometimes, I think it is important to stop, to look at the view and to smile. Just smile.

This blog is dedicated to the dreamers who believe that everything can be changed. Everything.

Edit on 03 October: I started a new blog. If you want the address, please write me an email to my gmail.com account: butwhoisit

Embarquement immediat pour les passagers ...

- Open the door

- Drop my bags

- Get undressed

- Jump on the bed

- Chanel 26: Discovery channel

- Call Room Service for some food

- Order a massage

- Smile

- Feel the endorphin in my blood

Walk in the Sky [Live at Koko] by Bonobo

Few minutes later, a call:

- "Good afternoon Mr. XXX. Customer service. Is everything ok in your room? You are a frequent customer and we would like to make sure that ..."

I'm a fuc$@# spoiled child

Le murmure de la neige ...

It was supposed to be a formality. Inspect a few boxes of new equipment that just arrived at the airport and spend the afternoon hanging at the hotel in KRT before my flight. I finally spent four hours outside (40 deg C) including two in a container under the sun (>50 deg C). As a respect to the persons (muslims) I was working with, I couldn't drink (ramadan). Finish saunas are for pussies...

Behind The Yashmak [Strange Place for Snow] by Esbjörn Svensson Trio

Dans mon viseur ...

Que dire? Pendant que la Suisse continue à tester les limites de sa démocratie avec une tentative abordée d'initiative pour la restauration de la peine de mort, Sarkozy replonge sa main dans le postérieur de l'extrême droite à la recherche de bonnes idées. Tout un programme.

De mon côté, ayant récupéré mon passeport, je me prépare à tester les limites de mes finances et de ma carte miles & more en traversant une mer puis un océan. Et à défaut de plonger mon regard dans celui d'une belle inconnue, j'espère bien capturer quelques instants rares, dans les traces de mon précédent passage à Paris.

Mr. Gorgeous (And Miss Curvaceous) [ Flying Away] by Smoke City

In Darfur, Muslims celebrate the Ramadan and gather at night to break the fast between neighbors. When I asked them if I could take pictures, their only concern was to be sure that my pictures wouldn't be used against their religion. Even here, in a muslim state, they understand that their religion is rarely understood by the Western world ...

Slow Jam [Rounds] by Four Tet

En attendant la pomme ...

We Will Meet Again (For Harry) [You Must Believe In Spring]

by Bill Evans

I'm lying in the first double bed I've ever owned. My clothes are not in my bag under my bed but in a wardrobe (with hangers!!!). Two small rooms, just for me. Ok, I don't have electricity every day, walls and ceilings are not exactly spotless and I'm still in El-Fasher. But with some music, books in a trunk next to my bed and my laptop, it's a nice feeling.

But despite many projects and ideas I would like to realize and to fight for in Darfur, I'm now trying to find a good way to spend some of my dollars. Books, Macbook Pro, wine and sushis...

Wait & See

Chacun sa drogue ...

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"

Renton, Transpotting (1996)

Album Pause by Four Tet

Three airplanes, one helicopter and a private jet. A jumping rope under the stars and a treadmill in an air-conditioned fitness. Fast days and luxury buffet. Fights and doubts. Frustration and fear. Music and silence. Selfishly, I sometimes prefer war in the field than in my mind.

Fu$k the World - What doesn't kill you ...

Love Cry [There is Love in You] by Four Tet